Your Kids Don’t Take You Seriously, Parents

children, News



I saw a meme that said, “Why does no one pay attention unless I totally lose my ****?”
Thats easy. Because you’ve trained them to.
Humans are the most adaptive creatures on the planet. We’ll adapt to anything. That includes your kids.
Let’s take a normal parent scenario that I see all the time:
If you say, “Stop running” and the kids don’t stop, and you do nothing, the kid files that away in his or her brain that ignoring mom and dad is okay.
So, the next time you say anything, they ignore. Then you raise your voice a little. “Stop running.” They ignore. You raise your voice a little more. They ignore. Finally you scream, “STOP RUNNING!!!!l”
You’ve trained your kids to ignore you unless you yell. They don’t think you’re serious the first time, or the second time, or any time unless you yell. They have learned that they can “outlast” mom and dad- they have tested you to see how serious you are, and when you do nothing or “let it go this time” they learn that you’re fine with being ignored.
You’ve trained them, by not insisting that they obey the first time, that you aren’t serious until you yell. And the vicious cycle gets worse and worse. The more you address them, the more they ignore you . . . . because they don’t think you’re serious.
That’s why parents MUST adopt the policy of “first time.”
Parents- don’t say anything you don’t intend to back up immediately. If you tell the child to stop running, and the child ignores you, you must do something immediately. An immediate consequence. Accompanied by the words, “First time.”
You need to break the connection your kids have made between your words and their irrelevance. Because that’s going on in many kids’ minds right now.
By emphasizing “first time” your kids will have a new respect for everything you say, not just discipline. They will listen more intently to instruction, to conversation, to praise.
Because now they know you are serious when you speak.
Don’t train your kids to ignore you. Insist on “first time” and watch not only their behavior improve, but your peace and sanity grow as well.

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