I grew up in a home where my parents put their marriage above their children.
Thank God I did. Mom and dad will be celebrating their 55th anniversary this June.
My parents understood that kids were a temporary assignment. The kids would leave the house at some point. But their marriage was permanent. They put marriage over kids. As they should have. I am the beneficiary of growing up in a house where I was less important than the marriage was.
I didn’t see it then. I see it now.
Now that I’m an empty nester with my kids, who were a temporary assignment, gone from the house and building lives of their own, it’s just me and my wife. I’m so glad Rachel and I put our marriage above the kids.
God.
Spouse.
Children.
Work.
Putting children before the marriage or putting the children first is putting them in a position they were never meant to be in. . . and can’t handle. Centering the family around children, putting them first, making them the priority is a losing game. Children need to know that they AREN’T the most important thing in the family.
They need to know that God is first. They need to know the marriage is second. That creates a great deal of security for them. It allows them to put all their energy towards being kids, not running a family.
If your children are currently occupying a spot higher than your spouse, you need to change that today. Children are a temporary assignment. They were never designed to stay with you long term.
This is especially important in blended families where parents bring children from a previous relationship. The default in that situation is “kids first.” Blended families have to work extra hard to move kids out of the top spot in the family. If they don’t, the results tend to be disastrous.
Your marriage is permanent. Treat it that way. God. Spouse. Children. Work. Put your home in that order and watch your home prosper like never before.